![](http://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/396129/fbf02997f31aac7500ff2dc7a26e8b765405e296/original/pride-month.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==)
People love a party. We celebrate all kinds of things in many ways, though over time some of the parties start looking more and more like the others. So, people are big on themes and try to find a way to set their party apart from the others.
People love a party. We celebrate all kinds of things in many ways, though over time some of the parties start looking more and more like the others. So, people are big on themes and try to find a way to set their party apart from the others.
I'm not as sure about other countries, but here in America we have a long list of things we celebrate and, if we're not thinking about it much, the reason for the party becomes an afterthought. Whether it's Independence Day where we celebrate the birth of our nation, St. Patrick's Day where we wear green and celebrate a guy many people know nothing about, or religious holidays that take on all sorts of meanings for people, the focus will shift and vary depending on who is participating. You'll hear folks lamenting that others have forgotten "the reason for the season," for example. Last month Paco was a guest on the Big Blend Podcast I co-host the first Sunday of every month and talked about how Cinco de Mayo is more of a solemn remembrance in Mexico than a party. We crave a shared experience, and so when others have a different take on things it can feel like the party has been "crashed" and its purpose diluted. Other times people seem to resent parties they aren't invited to, or that things are celebrated which they have no personal interest in. So, they actually take time out of their day to try and sabotage the party.
As I age, I value playfulness more and more. I try to come from a place of playfulness in everything I do. From letting my hair grow out for a change and even getting a perm, to the way I approach singing and songwriting, to my relationships, I am trying to be more playful. I believe I've shared in the past that I once heard a story on NPR about an author who had interviewed a bunch of Nobel Prize winners and the common theme was that most of them came up with their big idea when they were away from work in a playful mode. There's something that happens in our brains that frees up creativity when we play. Kids learn a lot through play. That doesn't need to stop as we age.
On June 28, 1969, a group of patrons of the Stonewall Inn, a local bar, refuge, and gathering place for LGBTQ folks in New York City, finally pushed back against bullying and oppression by local cops who frequently raided such establishments. These raids often ruined the lives of people who craved connection so much that they risked arrest and ruin. Enough was finally enough and it was time to take a stand. A riot ensued and a civil rights movement was born. Without the bravery of those individuals, I doubt Paco and I would have been legally able to marry nearly 10 years ago and thus, he wouldn't be a US citizen.
As the movement quickly grew, sparked by that first uprising, the early anniversaries of the event were organized protests in more and more cities around the world. As many more people became involved, the notion of replacing feelings of shame, guilt, and self-loathing with pride in who we are as we were born, love for ourselves and each other, and celebration of what we bring to the world became a big part of the story. The inevitable marketers began to put their spin on things. Playfulness is always on display in wildly imaginative ways, too. Like all big celebrations, Pride is now many different things. In an effort to avoid competing with celebrations in big cities, many smaller communities began holding their festivities on other dates in June and beyond. It's just a time when come together to celebrate us. And it's wonderful.
As I came out and became comfortable with who I always was inside, I really loved spending a weekend at a festival where, for those few days, I was not in the minority. I was with thousands of other LGBTQ folks who shared the unique experiences and sensibilities inherent in being ourselves. At a Pride festival I can truly hold hands with the person I love without fear of judgment or worse (aside from the handful of religious zealots who make a point of showing up to harass us.) Everywhere I look I see people like me, for a change. It's exhilarating to be unabashedly yourself. Some people really go all out and that might be off-putting to someone seeing photos out of context, but that's ok. It's not their party! It's not for them! I used to get frustrated because news channels would go to a three hour Pride Parade and film the most salacious float for the 5 O'clock news. They ignored the hundreds of PFLAG parents marching in support of their kids. They ignored the Lutherans, Episcopalians, Metropolitan Community Church and other groups marching to show their love and inclusiveness. In the midst of the big money that has infiltrated many of the celebrations, those are the moments I cherish along with playfully dancing under a huge tent with hundreds of LGBTQ folks and supporters from all walks of life. It's just plain fun!
It's About Love
When Prop 8 very narrowly passed in California I was devastated. I had campaigned vigorously and was incredulous that my basic right to marry the person I love was up for a vote. In response, I wrote a song called "It's About Love" and it became my first music video. George and Brad Takei even let me include their wedding photo.
For me, it has always been about love.
Fast forward to the Obgerfell vs. Hodges Supreme Court decision. At last, same-sex marriage was legal in all 50 states! I remember my brother Marty calling me in tears because he was so happy for us. I updated my song with a dance beat and included friends from my church choir at the time. Lisa Ulanday added marvelous, soulful vocals. It was a joyous, playful celebration!
The senseless shooting at the pulse night club in June of 2016 tried to snuff out the joy and playfulness in Orlando during their Pride celebration. Paco put together a touching video featuring photos of the victims using my song "Love Shines On." Again, it all boils down to love. Always love.
If you've made it this far in the message, thank you. I wanted to share these thoughts as I see people debating whether we should be allowed to celebrate Pride. Ron DeSantis even took the extraordinary step of banning rainbow lights on bridges and a football player went out of his way to blast our celebration in a college commencement speech. But I believe in the power of love.
This month's Big Blend Radio and Magazines podcast with Lisa Smith is a further take of some of these things. It's an honest discussion and it's interesting to get her perspective as a straight woman. We talk about some of the great songs that I associate with Pride, including a heartfelt song by my friend Ron Frederick called “Be Here for the Cure.” The podcast episode debuts today and you can find it on your favorite streaming outlet.
Here are some of the best links to find it:
- Big Blend Radio: www.BigBlendRadio.com
- Big Daily Blend Channel https://big-daily-blend.podbean.com/
- Toast to The Arts Channel: https://toast-the-arts.podbean.com/
- Our YouTube Page: https://www.youtube.com/@bigblendradio/
- Our Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/bigblendradiomags
The show we did last year with author Gayla Turner about her wonderful book, Don't You Dare and singer/guitarist Jill Knight about her beautiful rendition of the song I wrote for the audiobook is being replayed tonight (Sunday June 2) at 7pm on the Big Blend Women Making History Channel.
Here's the music video Paco created from photos Gayla found in her mother's closet that revealed a love story between her grandmother and another woman in a secret LGBTQ enclave in rural Wisconsin 100 years ago. If you're looking for something to read it listen to during Pride Month, it's a great choice.
So, let's make our lives a purposeful party celebrating love in all the beautiful ways it shows up in our lives every day. I love and celebrate you! I'm proud to count you among my friends. Thank you for being here.
You can find links to all my streaming platforms, my YouTube Channel (Have you subscribed yet?), as well as links to lyrics, how to buy my music and support my career, see all my press an podcasts, and much more at my hearjohnny.com website.