There’s much in the air these days about the need to “Do Something” when we want to affect change in the world. That, of course, can take many forms. We’re all called upon to use our unique talents, skills, and spheres of influence if we’re paying attention.
Law Enforcement has a popular tagline: “If you see something, say something” to encourage people to speak up about dangerous situations around them. When I scroll on Tik Tok or Instagram I see a lot of exasperated young people loudly voicing their frustration and anger over a laundry list of things that make their future fearful. From school shootings to book bans to oppression of the LGBTQ+ community and ethnic minorities, to climate change, they are justifiably pissed at the collective indifference and lack of action on the part of their parents and grandparents. As a 62-year-old man, I acknowledge their pain. As a singer-songwriter, I said, “This needs a song. Now, what does that sound like?”
I remember the anti-war demonstrations when I was a small child in the 60s. I’ve witnessed various stages of the Civil Rights Movement. I was part of the gay rights movement that finally won me the legal right to marry my husband. In the past, there has generally been a defining cause for younger generations to rally around. But I think that we were driven by a feeling of hope for a better future. The cumulative effect of so many concurrent, apocalyptic issues is overwhelming our kids and stifling the sense of hope that normally drives movements. When I began writing the song I opted to select a few topics and tell stories that might gain empathy from those who have closed their minds. You need to make it personal. I asked the listeners to put themselves in the shoes of parents whose children suddenly won’t come home again. This song, “When It’s Your Kid,” had the most rewrites of any I have ever done because it needed to be just right.
A common piece of advice for writers is “Write what you know.” While I think that good writers can use their imaginations to inhabit and convey other experiences, it’s sound advice for getting started. I looked first at what caused me pain in my youth. That would be being bullied (both externally and internally) because of my inescapable attraction to my own gender. In the 70s there was one gay character on TV and Anita Bryant was crusading around the country drumming up hatred for gay people. I internalized hatred for myself and assumed that my Lutheran minister father shared it. In fact, I blamed myself when my parents got divorced, and when my dad got Multiple Sclerosis, and when died of lung cancer. A true blessing in my life was that he found an unsent love letter I had written to another young man when I performed in parades at Disneyland. Dad simply and lovingly told me
I love you. God loves you. It doesn’t make any difference.
I often wish we’d had that conversation much earlier. Sitting in church and hearing that there was a meeting of a Gay and Lesbian ministry, or hearing announcements of meetings for a Gay-Straight Alliance in school would have saved me years of anguish. For the song, I chose to tell the true story of a young man I knew of whose family had all realized he was gay and decided to give him space to come out when he felt ready. That, unfortunately, translated into silence on a Sunday morning when their preacher railed against the “evils of homosexuality” for 20 minutes. The kid went home and killed himself. I tell this story in the song and ask the listener to think about how they would feel if it was their kid. I had enough love around me to keep me from acting on the suicidal thoughts I had as a young teen, but I did pray that God would give me cancer or let me die in a car accident because I was sure my gay feelings were so evil that they exempted me from the redemption promised in church. I assumed God wanted me dead. It wasn’t until years later that I came to see my orientation as a gift from God because it taught me and many around me things about Love we would not have learned any other way. September is Suicide Prevention Month. I worked with The Trevor Project to help get the word out about their life-saving work through this release. I’m also participating in a “Walk 26 Miles to Save Lives” campaign for them in September.
For the second verse, I chose to describe a school shooting. Even if kids don’t experience one themselves, they are reminded of the threat by active shooter drills which place the responsibility for their safety on them instead of the adults who seem much more intent on preserving the unfettered “rights” of civilians to own weapons that can mow down a group of kids in seconds. I know it’s graphic language, but it’s true. So, I ask the listener to imagine being a parent listening to a list of victims and praying that their child isn’t named.
I get that the same overwhelm our kids feel about there being so many urgent issues at once can cause inertia in older generations who simply don’t know where to start. As my friend Sue Holder, who provides brilliant supporting vocals on the track, said in our upcoming Big Blend Podcast, her family likes to refer to the saying that “You eat an elephant one bite at a time” (apologies to our elephant-loving friends.) I finish the song with a short reference to climate change. I couldn’t leave it out, because it’s arguably at the top of the list for our kids. I’ve had some criticism that “It’s too much” and that people will be overwhelmed. That’s really my point. If the song conveys that feeling, I consider it a sign that I succeeded in what I wanted to do.
Finding the right producer for “When It’s Your Kid” was a challenge. I want to be in the room when all the notes are recorded. Many producers post-COVID like to lay down tracks and then have the artist come in and sing over them. I have zero interest in that. It disconnects me from my own song. I love to hear songs that have been bouncing around my head bounce around a room for the first time. The added problem with this song is that the subject matter scared off some producers. A colleague finally referred me to composer/producer/musician Geoff Levin, who has decades of experience in film and television scoring and had a #1 hit with his band People in the 60s. He and his brother got involved with the Scientology cult for four decades and he recently released a bold documentary about their journey out of the organization called Brothers Broken. Geoff told me that he is very picky about projects he takes on, but that he felt uniquely qualified to help me with this song because, “I was that guy! I was homophobic and a big NRA supporter. I know how these people think. I’ve never heard a song that approaches these subjects in such a disarming way. I think it can make a huge difference. It doesn’t preach to the choir, nor does it attack or demean anyone’s viewpoints.” Geoff’s arrangement is organic and doesn’t get in the way of the lyrics, which are the focal point of the song. (Close captioning is available in the video if you want to focus on the messaging more, and the lyrics are on my website and on many streaming platforms.)
My good friend Stephan Oberhoff beautifully mastered the track for us.
We’re premiering the music video this Tuesday night, August 27, at 5:30 pm Pacific Time on my @hearjohnny YouTube channel (Please subscribe). You’re invited. I would be honored if you would join us for a few minutes. If you can’t, the same link will work to watch, comment, like, and share it from then on and I hope you will. If you go there now, you can watch a trailer about the project. The song will start showing up on streaming platforms like Spotify, Apple Music/iTunes, Pandora, and Amazon Music later that night. All my streaming and viewing links are on my website, hearjohnny.com. If you feel moved to follow me on your favorite platform, playlist, share, etc., it helps a lot, especially if you say “Hey Siri/Alexa/Google/Spotify, play Johnny Schaefer “When It’s Your Kid”” often. You can also buy the song on my site and contribute to getting the message out on my Tip Jar. I have hired Donna Segura of Oleander Press. A press release went out to hundreds of media outlets. Fingers crossed.
I appreciate those of you who read through all of this. I think in-depth conversation is important in this age of soundbites. I’m not trying to be anyone else. I say what I need to say in my voice and in my way. It’s not for everyone. I appreciate those who are listening and reading and those who aren’t. It’s all good. I love that you are here. Thank you. You’re getting this email because you have expressed interest in my music in the past. You can unsubscribe below, but I hope you won’t.